Just Because it Rings Doesn't Mean I Have to Answer
I’ve always thought I like people in general. I enjoy a good joke and a good conversation, but still, in the end, I think I’m anti-social. I get this because of my response to phones. I cringe when my phone rings—especially my mobile phone. I’ve never gotten over the discomfort of people being able to reach me in places I have previously enjoyed solitude. Whether I am in line at the bank lost in my own thoughts or in the car during my daily commute to or from the office enjoying a book on tape when that phone rings-- I cringe. I don’t want to answer. How dare someone interrupt what I’m doing when they aren’t even in my presence. Most people seemed pleased when their phone rings. They answer quickly as if they are afraid the person calling will hang up. They answer loudly as if the caller is deaf or as if they want all the strangers standing around to know that somebody loves them enough to call them. Me? I always check first to make sure it’s someone I want to talk to or at least someone I have to talk to (boss at work who knows I have a cell phone that he is paying for so that he can reach me anywhere). Then I answer quietly because I don’t want intrude on the others around me with my personal conversation with a person they can’t hear. I will not hesitate to hang up if I get into traffic or if it is my turn in the line I have been waiting in. I will not talk to two people at once and the one on the phone always loses and one calling on the second line always loses.
At home it is much easier. Since normally I am home after work hours I turn my mobile phone off. If perchance someone at work wants to reach me after hours they have to call my home phone. Why? Because after work hours I won’t don’t want to discuss work. If someone needs me badly enough they can call my home phone. Of course I don’t answer my home phone. Why? Because I am usually busy at home on personal projects and don’t like to be interrupted by outsiders. My eight children have picked up on this a little. When the phone rings and there is no scurry to answer. They do not feel obligated to answer the phone just because it is ringing. They will go look at the caller ID to see if it is someone they want to talk to, but if they don’t recognize the name or feel an attachment to the name on the screen they let it go to the message machine. I often won’t even look at the screen. I will just wait to see if I recognize the voice. If I do and it is a family member I will often pick up during their message. If it isn’t family or an expected call I will let the machine take the message and then call back later when it is convenient or necessary.
I know this sounds like I have a disdain toward people, but I really don’t. I just have a disdain toward the interruption telephones create in my life. I enjoy talking face to face with people. I like making eye contact with the bank teller or fast food worker and catching the name of the checkout lady. Recently I chatted for 300 miles with a friend who was traveling with me. No, people are fine, but the idea that I have to answer someone who is not present and has no idea what I might be doing at the moment irks me. I will not become a slave to a tool that just happens to ring. Thank heavens for the ignore button and the answering machine.
posted by PapaT @ 11:10 AM
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