Simply Brilliant

Women Are Becoming More Like Men

Women have had long, hard fight through the centuries to gain equality with men. Seems like they are getting closer even though I still hear reports of glass ceilings and less pay for same work. I have no problem with equality for women (although that is very vague). I suppose women should have no more restrictions placed upon them than what men have. They should be able to choose the course in life they desire and they should get the same pay as male counterparts in the same field. Actually, these ideas seem like no brainers to me. I grew up with a mother who was a professional. She was a nurse. But she wasn't just any nurse, she was the supervisor of the Emergency Department at the regional hospital. She was very good. She managed all the other ER nurses and, whether or not they would agree, she managed the attending doctors too (they can be a little less than human sometimes). As a teenager I worked at the hospital and would often visit my mother in the ER. I saw her operate with complete grace and confidence under the most difficult circumstances when lives were on the line. After seeing her do her job it was nothing to me to see women go into space, become soldiers, and run companies. But I am not writing this to be a cheerleader for women's accomplishments. Instead, I am concerned that in order to obtain the right to achieve these accomplishments, women have had to become more like men and that is not necessarily good for humanity.

If you are acquainted with the Pre-Raphaelites (a group of painters in Victorian England) you have seen their paintings of ideal women. The women they painted seemed to exist in a state a step above the rest of humanity. They were untainted by earth and men seemed unworthy of them. The women portrayed in these paintings were the kind of women men would change their behavior for (if only while in their presence). Foul mouths would speak only worthy words or nothing at all. Men would fight to deny themselves their own comfort in order to be the one to make one of these women more comfortable. In the presence of these women, men would resolve to be better men! Oh that such women really existed! But even if in Victorian England such women didn't really exist (one of the models for some of these paintings was a prostitute), men tried to make them exist by restricting the lives and actions of women to certain boundaries. Today these restrictions seem ridiculouse and completely unfair. Women had to work hard to make the world of men understand that when it came down to it, women didn't want to be special--they wanted to be equal to men.

As women gained more equality with men they seemed to have to separate themselves from those things that make a woman distinct from a man. Of course they still differ physically and emotionally, but other than that they are now men (I'm speaking generally). It is as if one half of the human species has become extinct. When I drop my son off at school I see maleness everywhere. There goes a boy in jeans. Here comes a girl in jeans. It isn't just that the girl is wearing jeans, but it's that she would be embarrased to wear a dress to school or anywhere. One teenage acquaintance I have has told me in as many words and it is true that I haven't seen her in a dress once in the years I have known her. I'm fine with jeans for girls. They are comfortable and a girl has every right to dress comfortably. But why with this right have so many given up the right (in attitude anyway) to wear that symbol of womanhood--a dress--with pride and influence. A woman who knows how to wear a dress with confidence can have a powerful, if subtle, influence on the men in her world (and I don't mean with sexy dresses). But to become equal with men they dress like men maybe gaining some of the power of men, but giving up the power of woman.

True women in the past were expected to have higher morals than men in word and action. The atmosphere in a room would become cleaner when a woman walked in because men (decent men, anyway) would try to hold themselves to this higher standard in their presence. But women, in striving for equality with men, have had to decline this kind of treatment. Men are not expected to change any part of their behavior in the presence of a woman. In fact women have gone a step further in becoming equal by choosing to use the profanity men use and participate in the sexual escapades that was expected (unfortunately) only of men. While in the air force and in the civilian offices where I work now I have heard what look to be respectable women profane with the best (or worst) of the men. And on TV you can easily find shows like "College Girls Gone Wild" where seemingly respectable girls pull their tops off for the cameras. Because of the average woman coming down to a man's level, now nothing changes when a woman walks into the room. In becoming "equal" with men they have thrown off the lifting power they used to carry with them by the nature of their womanhood and a room full of men and women is just a room full of men. Perhaps this is a good thing for women, but it is sad for humanity.

My dream world would be a world where women are have all the rights that men have, but who remain women--not by virtue of their anatomy, but by virtue of their attitude. I have three daughters and four sons. I will teach my daughters that they can do anything they want to do--be a a pilot, a doctor, a CEO, a marine. But I will also teach them that they can be a something my sons can never be--a woman, wife, and mother--and as such have a power and influence in this world that is lost when a female becomes only a doctor, or only a pilot, or only a Senator.

posted by PapaT @ 5:00 PM