Simply Brilliant

Taekwondo -- Kicking Rory

The other night at taekwondo I kicked my 14 year old son, Rory, pretty hard. Rory is a black stripe--one half step away from black belt. Life in the dojang gets hard when you are at that level. The instructor wants to see if you really want your black belt. You do pushups for others mistakes and you get put in some tough situations. Last night the instructor called Rory to the middle of the mat. The rest of us were in a circle around the mat. Then one by one we each went out and sparred Rory. We had all our gear on--chest protectors, head gear, teeth guard, shin and forearm protectors. We wear this because we spar full contact.

Rory weighs only about 90 pounds. Most of the people he sparred were far heavier than him. It's not so bad at first when you go through a trial like that. You have enough energy. But by the second person you start to tire. Then the third person comes out. Then the fourth. And they attack and kick hard. Blackey gave Rory a couple of good boots to the head. That didn't look like much fun at all. Finally the instructor signals me to go out and he joins me. Poor Rory had two opponents at once and both of us outweighed him by 140 pounds at least. It was a bad situation for him. This was going to be bad for him no matter how well he fought.

The instructor and I pressed him hard. His kicks were ineffectual against our size. Then Rory screwed up. He was in the corner with the instructor coming in on one side and me on the other. He hesitated a moment too long and landed a side kick square in his stomach. It staggered him out of the ring and he bent over trying to get his breath. I had a conflict in feelings at that moment. He is my son and I love him very much. I don't want to hurt him (I've never touched him in his life in a disciplinary way). But he is too nice on the mat (when sparring). That is going to get him hurt. I tell him that he can be the nice kid when he is off the mat. In fact I want him to be the nice kid when he is off the mat, but when he is on the mat he needs to get mean. Taekwondo competition can be very serious and for that four minutes on the mat you have to be focused and kick with intent to intimidate (kick hard). I think that is why I didn't pull my kick more than I did. I want him to wake up to the situation and protect himself by fighting harder.

He was okay, but I saw the standing tears in his eyes. They weren't tears of hurt, but of the situational emotion. He came back in and fought another minute and even popped me in the head with a fist. I liked that. He is a wonderful kid--0ne of my favorite companions. We juggle together, throw boomerangs, make movies, play with yo yos. I just don't want him to get hurt on the mat and the best way to do that is to fight harder.

Clory, my eight year old daughter, also got called out on the mat. She is a red stripe and her trials are beginning. She had to fight everyone, too. She is all of forty pounds. She is quite skilled and in all of her previous sparring I have never seen her have to work very hard to come out on top. But she only fights cute little kids like her. But as she gets older her opponents will kick faster and harder. Since they are under 12 they aren't allowed to kick to the head in tournaments. Last night wasn't a tournament and they were allowed to kick to the head. The big guys definitely kicked lightly, but hard enough to get her attention. They tapped her in the head a few times trying to teach her to keep her hands up and block. One of the kids closer to her own size, but still bigger kicked her pretty hard, once in the head. She was so tired and this was the first time she had ever been pressed like that. She broke down in tears. The instructor called her over to give her a good talking too. Clory kept looking at me for help. It was so hard not to interrupt the instructor to comfort her. I had to walk to the other side of the room where her back was to me so she couldn't see me and I wouldn't be as tempted to say something. The instructor was great. He was firm with her, but he was gentle and caring too. She plopped down on the mat in defeat and tears as he talked. He lifted her back to her feet by the back of her Hogo and made her stand. By the time he was done with her she was ready to go back out on the mat and fight some more. He called the next fight off after just 15 seconds because she had proved to him she would keep trying. I knew the time was coming where she was going to have to go through a trial like this. It's all been so easy for her. But she has opponents out there who are going to knock her around and it's better to face up to that in a freindly dojang first instead of in a tournament against an uncaring opponent who just wants to knock you out.

posted by PapaT @ 5:05 PM